Baby Blues... Or Maybe Pinks?

You would not believe the craziness that comes with expecting a new baby in the family. Did I forget to mention that? Yes, I am an expectant mother. Feel free to cheer and applaud in your free time! I know there are some people out there who frown heavily upon babies being born out of wedlock (my own parents, just to name a couple), however I think it will all turn out just fine considering how my due date is in April and the wedding is at the end of July. It's going to be a very busy 2012, that's for sure!

The craziest thing has started happening in just the last couple of weeks. I can feel him/her moving around. It's such a different feeling than what I'm used to! Granted, Colton and I did have a baby back in 2010 that we gave up for adoption so we could go to school and give ourselves and her the greatest lives possible. But this time we are opting to keep it and be parents. We don't know whether it will be a boy or a girl yet, but I've got my fingers crossed for a boy. Colton has always really wanted a girl. We will find out over Thanksgiving though! It should be an exciting time. I'm already 4 months in, so we should be getting close.

We told Colton's dad and stepmom as well as his step-siblings. They are the only ones though. Because of they way they reacted to the wedding and our relationship in general, we are waiting until we know the gender before we tell his mom and stepdad and my parents. It's going to be a bit of a bumpy ride when that finally happens...

I'm so nervous!! Not just for telling our families, but for the actual baby. Being born, raising it, getting to know the kind of person it will end up being. Will I be a good mother? I certainly hope so. This is one of the few times that I allow myself to stay outside of my comfort zone for a long time and am happy about it. As for names? We aren't 100% certain about things yet, but we do know that if it is a boy his middle name will be Colton after his father. It's sort of a family tradition on his side that the first-born boy gets his father's first name as a middle name. I like the name Samuel for a first name, but you never really know for sure until you see them. If it's a girl, I like the name Leah. Colton likes Ashley. Again, we have no idea what to do if it's a girl. It will all get figured out though. It always does.

We already have basic supplies (crib, carseat, stroller), but there's still a lot more that needs to be done before we can be ready to take care of this baby. We can't exactly get clothes until we know the sex of the baby, but that's alright.

Regardless of the troubles that are certain to come, I'm very excited for this baby and to start a family with the only man I've ever really loved. I can't wait!

Image via Hiren